Am Confused: I Love Him But..

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Dear Chris Handler

My name is Esther, and i have been in a relationship for 2 years with this wonderful guy. He has been good to me, very loving, caring, adoring and above all very romantic. He is the guy i have always had in my dreams, he is cute, very funny, and even helps me with my academics, when he even hears that i am sick, he gets sick as well, i can boldly say he truly loves me but just recently i went to visit him at his house as usual, this time around, i don’t know how to describe our meeting, we talked as much about our  future, he cooked for me, we ate together, we kissed, we touched, and we made love, i feel very safe with him, that day when i got home, i don’t know what happened when i slept, the following day, my two elder brothers who i live with were very angry with me. They asked me who was David. I was astonished when i heard them asking me,because i have never mentioned David who is my boyfriend to them or my parents because i knew, they would be angry with me because, they felt at age 18, i was too young to be in a relationship. I denied that i did not know anybody by that name, but they still insisted, they finally told me that i was mentioning David’s name in my dream, and i was asking him to kiss me more and hold me tight, they then checked my phone and saw messages which testified that. They then called my parents who were in another region and informed them, the following day, my father arrived and asked me to break-up with my boyfriend, my brothers had also already called my boyfriend and  threatened him to break up with me or else face the consequences, my mom had also called me asking me to end that relationship or face her wrath, Chris, i love this guy soo much, and i don’t want to loose him, if i disobey my parents, that means doom for me, am very confused and do not know what to do at this stage, please what do you think should be the best thing for me to do.


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Hello Esther, your situation a very perculiar one and it’s very complicated. I would have loved to know the age of the guy is question and also whether he is working or just a student. From what you are saying, i presume you are a student. Respect for parents is very important and you cannot risk disobeying them but your feelings too are very important. I would advise that if the boy is also a student, you should let him know of the situation, and go on a dating break at least till the situation stays calm at home. Am sure, if he truely loves you he will understand and be willing to wait. If he happens to be working too, then you should talk to him to discuss the matter with your parents, that he intends to marry you and not just have fun with you.


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