Popular Ghanaian counsellor, Edem Adofoli has said in a fresh counseling session he posted on his page on social media that it’s an insult for a man to make her woman pregnant before marrying her.
According to him, it’s not an insult but totally disrespectful and sinful in the eyes of God for men to be adopting this kind of lifestyle which is prevalent in our modern epoch. His full text on reads;
“It’s not just an insult for a man to tell a woman to get pregnant for him before he marries her but also disrespect to the lady and her family, a sin to God. You can’t stop men from asking for that and you can’t force them to respect you, but you can definitely refuse to be disrespected. Let him go, God will bless you with what you want by running away from sin.
“We are taught to have nothing to do with that which is against God. We are to have nothing to do with the desires of this world. We are to be wise and to be right with God. We are to live God-like lives in this world” – Titus 2:12 (NLV). If you want to enjoy the blessings of marriage then you have to enter through the gate the Creator wants, which is holiness. Don’t start your marital journey on the foundation of sin, such marriages cannot stand the test of times.
If he is asking for pregnancy before marriage then there is a possibility he doesn’t love you, he is selfish and only wants to use you as an incubator. After the baby, he is likely to stay in love with the child, develop a relationship with the child but not with you as the mother.
It also means he doesn’t trust you; he doesn’t see you as a woman who is fruitful, a relationship with such a person won’t work. Why will you trust someone who doesn’t believe in you, who doubts you, who wants to experiment with your life, who sees you as a sample?
Most at times, we see all these dangers but we just choose to suffer, we ignore the red flags and proceed thinking the results will be different. The number one need of every woman is security; you need to be safe with this man, feel secure with him as a husband before you think of having babies with him. It is the only way you are sure he is committed to you.
The only way to know where a man’s heart is, is to know where his mind goes, what he thinks about, what he confesses. If he is talking about having a child and not marriage, it simply means you are not a need to him as a wife but a “baby giver”. What he needs is a child, and proof of that will push him into marriage with you. Such a man can easily take the child and leave you any day, at any time. “Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be” – Matthew 6:21 (NLT).
The greatest gift you can give any child is a family, not a father or a mother. You only get families from a marriage and not from becoming pregnant for a man. Our lives start and end with the family; if you both love the child you want to bring to this world, then first give the child the solid foundation of a family by getting married first before having thoughts of a baby.
In conclusion “God blesses those people who want to obey him more than to eat or drink. They will be given what they want!” – Matthew 5:6 (CEV).”