A British man named Ethan Allen has shared his unfortunate experience with a sex worker in a brothel where he later realized bitterly that having a girlfriend is always the best option.
According to Allen, the experience is different from what he watches in blue movies and other films. In his mind, it was going to be rounds of sexual fantasy only for him to be served with something completely different.
He wrote the following:
“The date 21/12/18 They say when you go knocking on the door of a prostitute its not sex you are looking for , its a connection to god. Well i got neither of those things. The reality of a Brothel is complete contrast to what you see on TV or in films.”
“Looking back the 1st mistake I made was viewing myself as a samariton who was going in there on a mission to expose a human trafficking ring.When I finally met my lovely Romanian girl at5am at this point she had all the enthusiasm of PhilipSchofield at his 25thwedding anniversary”
“When she said follow me, this was the part I thought would be quite exciting and sexy, maybe a little bit of kissing and fondling before we get to the room… unfortunately the reality was more like 1940s Germany being escorted by a nazi solider to an almost certain death.”
“It made the green mile look like an uplifting feel good film.We finally get on the bed, she then starts shouting at me ‘why have you been fighting’ she proceeded to snatch my phone and take my pic,Christ I looked like shit, the nose bleed was due 2 the gear wed been doing all day”
“this woman really didn’t need a reason to be angry at me she already clearly hated me. Oh and as I mentioned id been on coke all day, for those of you who don’t know it makes it almost impossible to get hard.”
“The woman orders me to take my pants down.She was trying to put the comdom on my flaccid penis. she was pretty patient initially. It must have been the longest 2 mins of my life watching a complete stranger try her best but with each passing second getting more and more agitated”
“she kept mumbling to herself in her mother tongue..I can only imagine it was all positive, 2 minutes passed and eventually she just flipped , ‘so soft so soft’ she kept exclaiming much to my delight. Moving on, I somehow manage to get this condom on to a semi at very best”
“At this point she’s just sorta lay on the bed staring at the ceiling like a petulant teenager still clearly rattled by comdom-gate. You never see that in porn do you?. the girl stropping on the bed muttering subtle but quite hurtful comments about a flaccid penis.”
“Now the fun begins. Against all odds I tried to turn this frosty atmosphere around.who was I kidding!?I tried to touch her leg she flicked me a way like a mosquito. I then went in for a slow kiss, she covered her mouth like a plug, she moved her hand away ‘extra £10 for kissing'”
“£50 and now add ons like im buying a new car. I politely refused to get embroiled in a financial negotiation over a kiss … call me old fashioned but it somewhat takes away the moment when you’re having to extend your overdraft for a mere kiss”
“She then points at me to lie on the bed … I look like im on an operation table about to be identified… at this stage I reckon the dead have got more wood than me at that moment. The girl clambers on to the bed… faces the otherway (god forbid we make eye contact)”
“again , when I watch porn, reverse cowgirl is pretty sexy . So we now find ourselves in a position where she is riding me but with no dick inside her.. my penis was just sorta lay on my belly all limp and lifeless watching on longly as this woman just blindly soldiers on.”
“I attempted to try and salvage the experience but it was like a tryna pick a lock with a flump. Its been a bad at the office for the commander”
“The final low point of the evening was after about 4 minutes which felt like 4 hrs of her bouncing up and down on my flaccid cock you could really faintly hear the radio playing from next door.”
“If facing the other way, not being able to touch or kiss , getting visably pissed off with my non functioning cock wasnt humiliating and undermining enough.. she is now humming along to jingle bell rocks as if she’s waiting to pull out at a junction.”
“Save your money kids and have a wank or even better get an actual girlfriend.”
Save your money kids and have a wank or even better get an actual girlfriend.
— Ethan Allen (@EthanAllen45) December 11, 2020