South African writer and granddaughter of The Great Late Nelson Mandela, Zoleka Mandela has opened up at length about the sexual abuses she has endured from her childhood.
According to her, she spent a decade thinking that she deserved all the abuses which were coming from both men and women; unknown to her, however, this thinking was what would open the door for even more abuses to her.
“I spent decades blaming myself, believing that all the sexual abuse by both the men and women in my life, I deserved. Not knowing that I would be physically and sexually abused even more,” Zoleka Mandela wrote on IG.
She further stated that she had taken on lifestyles that hurt her being when she came to the realisation she didn’t deserve all the abuses after all. She had attempted taking her own life, became addicted to sex, drugs and alcohol in an attempt to shield her self-hate.
“convinced that I didn’t deserve more. I’ve hated myself so much that my many suicidal attempts, were an attempt at ending a life I didn’t deserve, so much that my addiction to sex, drugs and alcohol was an attempt at numbing the self-hate I felt for decades because I was desperate to feel something good because I felt I didn’t have the right and strength to live,” she lamented.
Zoleka Mandela seems to have now got over all the things she endured as she pointed out that she is now deserving of the life she lives, she loves herself and she is now a force to reckon with.
“But I am more than what happened to me, more than someone who used to self-harm or cut themselves, I am far more than an addict, a survivor of depression and anxiety, more than a survivor. I am deserving of the life I want for myself, I am strength, I am self-love, I am worthy, I am love, a fighter and I am a force to be reckoned with. I am Zoleka,” she concluded.
See the long post by Zoleka Mandela on her IG page;